Evidence Of My Insanity

Frumpy And Grumpy: A Deadly Combination

Today has mostly been a blur of random naps and forced baths. Well, just the one bath. But the naps? I’ve lost count.

It all started in church, when I got all grumpy because everybody else looked so darn CUTE–skinny jeans, knee-high boots, scarves with fun patterns on them, and the HAIR, my word, the hair.

If there’s one thing the south does right, it’s hair. Loose waves, creative braids, straight layers…we know what’s up.

Oh, except for me.

I made the extremely poor choice of painting my nails at 8:00 this morning, which would have been fine, except that we are supposed to leave for church around 8:30, and I hadn’t showered.

The mature choice would have been to sacrifice the nails and wash my greasy hair.

MY choice was to sacrifice the hair, put on the Frumpiest Outfit of Our Time (because when one is almost twenty-four weeks pregnant, one has very few “cute” outfit choices), and just GO.

This is what my nails would look like, if I was super good at giving myself manicures. But you can see that the color is AMAZING. “Smokin’ Hot” by Essie.

Now, I’m aware of the fact that God does not care even the tiniest bit whether I am showered or frumpy or whatever, but when I saw all those cute moms in the lobby with their fun sweaters and their sassy jewelry, well. I had a little bit of a moment.

And it was not pretty.

I didn’t say anything out loud, of course, but when I realized how gross I felt and how disheveled I looked–I am not kidding–I started feeling physically BAD.

This was only the beginning of what turned out to be a very grumpy day on my part, mostly because I just don’t feel good but also because I don’t feel like I LOOK good, so. I don’t know what that means. Clearly I have some kind of emotional issue going on.

(It’s hard not to have an issue with your face being twice its normal size.)

(Not really. But it feels like it. CHIPMUNK CHEEKS.)

Anyway, I’ve got some beef stew brewing in the crock pot and I’m about to start re-reading the entire Harry Potter series, so things are looking up. Here’s to the future, Grump and Frump-free.

2 thoughts on “Frumpy And Grumpy: A Deadly Combination

  1. Just remember…you’ve only a matter of months now before you can officially reclaim the title of Hot Mom once more. Then you can sashay into church in the very outfits you despair presently. Then we’ll see whose feelin’ pretty huh! huh!?

    Now, on the question of manicures – I woulda thought you would have recruited Rob long before now to handle those duties. I know for me, it was a job requirement. The whole mani/pedi thing – I became quite adept at. And I know for a fact, it was appreciated.

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