Hi! Yep, I’m still here. And still pregnant. Very, very pregnant.
This is me in all my 39-weeks-glory, folks. And, to absolutely no one’s surprise, my eyes are squinty again. Or maybe my face is just swollen – I mean, glowing.
(By the way, I’m convinced that “You’re glowing!” is just a nice way of saying, “You’re not as bloated and tired looking as I thought you would be by now!” because that’s the look people have on their faces whenever they tell me I’m glowing.)
Anyway. So, obviously the blogging has sort of tapered off for me, which happens when I, you know, DON’T WRITE ANY BLOG POSTS. It’s completely irrational and inexplicable, but when there’s nothing new to read, not many people stop by ye olde blog.
Crazy, I tell you.
What have I been doing instead of blogging, you ask? Well, let me just tell you. I have been:
1) Not working on my book.
2) Cleaning everything in sight, including the inside of a cabinet in my laundry room. Which is not technically “in sight.” So I guess I’ve also been cleaning everything not in sight, too.
3) Ignoring my book.
4) Having conversations with my husband that go like this:
Me: <hands on stomach> Ooh, that’s a strong one.
Husband: What? Are you contracting again? IS IT TIME??
Me: No. I mean yes, I’m contracting, but it’s not a real one.
Husband: How do you know which ones are real and which ones aren’t?
Me: The real ones hurt. OUCH!
Husband: Oh my gosh! Was that a real one?
Me: Nope, sciatic nerve that time. Hmm… I feel weird.
Husband: Weird how?! What do you mean you feel weird? What’s going on?
5. Trying to find a place for the multitude of baby clothing that has descended upon our house. I’m not kidding, I’ve got a whole box of stuff she’ll probably never wear because there is just so. much. of. it. Better too much than too little, though, right?
6. Making Christmas cookies with my husband, which resulted in a whole lot of flour on everybody’s clothes and way too much chocolate icing on the cookies. In other words, it was the perfect cookie making experience.
7. Pretending like my book does not exist.
Five days till the due date… I can only see myself becoming more insane with each passing hour. What about y’all? What have you been up to?