Mega-Naps, Awkward Voicemails, And Monkey Mania

Posted 13 CommentsPosted in Evidence Of My Insanity, Little Bit Riley, Nonsensical Musings, Random Life Updates

First and foremost, Grasshoppers: I do believe the Great Comment Crisis of 2012 is over. Thank you to everyone who helped me solve the mystery–you deserve an engraved magnifying glass and your own sidekick named Watson! Here you go! *grabs guy off street, paints “Watson” on his shirt, wraps his fingers around engraved magnifying glass, […]

In Which I Emerge, Butterfly-Like, From The Cave Of February Doom

Posted 10 CommentsPosted in Evidence Of My Insanity, Nonsensical Musings

For most of my life, I have harbored a cold and bitter hatred toward two things: 1) January and 2) February. To me, these months are the worst kind of torture, a wasteland of drudgery where people are forced to watch reruns of Two And A Half Men while eating coconut-covered tomatoes and drinking that […]

That Time I Accidentally Flew To Europe For Spring Break

Posted 13 CommentsPosted in Adventures, Evidence Of My Insanity

I don’t remember what it was that had every plane in America grounded / delayed / overbooked that day in March 2007. Maybe it was snow, or a hurricane, or one of those volcanoes in Iceland that erupts every once in a while and covers the entire northern hemisphere with a massive ash cloud.  Whatever […]

Anne And Harley’s Epic Girl Date Of Epicness

Posted 19 CommentsPosted in Adventures, Evidence Of My Insanity

The following events took place on the night of Friday, January 20th, 2012, between the hours of 5:30 and 7:00 pm. Names have not been changed because there are no innocent parties to protect.  * It’s 5:30 pm and I’m late for my date with Harley May. I pull into the Whole Foods parking lot […]