January 11: I was admitted to the hospital with what the nurses thought were “false labor pains.” I attempted to explain how very real my contractions were, but no one believed me until a few hours later when Baby J’s head made an appearance. (That full story, by the way, can be found here.)
March 20: We took our then-9-week-old Baby J to the emergency room for extreme congestion. Girlfriend was having trouble breathing and kept coughing till she threw up. To relieve the congestion, two full-grown men had to hold her down and essentially vacuum out her sinuses. IT WAS SO MUCH FUN I CAN’T EVEN.
April 15: My husband went to the emergency room with symptoms of appendicitis. After a couple hours curled up on a waiting room bench with a trash can placed strategically below his mouth and paling to an Edward Cullen-esque shade of BLAH, we discovered his appendix was fine, but his colon had a VICIOUS germ. Morphine and Phenergan ensued. While he slept in a drug-induced state, I watched the Boston bombings unfold on Twitter. Rough day for everybody.
April 25: Our 2-year-old fell down half a flight of wooden steps in our garage. She hit her head at least three or four times and then crashed into the concrete floor below. We took her to the emergency room to make sure she didn’t have head trauma or something else horrible. She came away from the whole thing with just a few scrapes and bruises. As one of my students said today, small children must be made of rubber.
So after all this I would just like to say THAT IS QUITE ENOUGH, 2013.
As you can imagine, we are hoping and praying and raindancing that no one will be hospitalized for a while. MAMA NEEDS A BREAK. So does Daddy. And while we’re at it, could we maybe take the world drama down just a notch?
Sometimes, life only makes sense after you’ve seen a picture of a bunny in a dress. Wouldn’t you agree?
Here’s to the approach of May: a new, potentially hospital-free month.