Mom Fail

I left the house for work at 6:52 this morning. That might sound like a MIGHTY early hour to be doing ANYTHING, and I concur, it is. But I normally leave around 6:30. So as you might have deduced, this morning’s departure was a bit delayed.

Baby Girl and I rolled into daycare at 7:20, which is a solid twenty minutes later than we should have arrived. We walked up the front steps, opened the door, and–

“Is she all set to be Friend of the Week?” said Lovely Daycare Lady.

I stared at her.

“Did you bring her poster?”

A vague feeling of FAIL began to brew in the pit of my stomach.

 

See, our daycare does this really cute thing called Friend of the Week. Basically, each of the twelve kids gets one week to be special. (I mean, they’re always SPECIAL, but you know.) Their parents bring a poster about their family, they get to pick some of the activities, and a family member–usually Mom, Dad, or a grandparent–comes in to read a story for all the kids.

All of us parents got to pick our child’s week. And apparently, I picked this one.

Except that I thought I picked the LAST week of March. All month, I’ve had Friend of the Week lurking in the back of my brain, and I was planning to buy my posterboard over spring break (next week) and make the most KICKIN’ family poster EVAR.

Maybe there was gonna be confetti and glitter. Maybe my FOTW poster was gonna blow everybody else’s out of the WATER.

But instead of walking in with the Greatest Poster Of Our Time, I walked in with NO POSTER AT ALL.

And as soon as Lovely Daycare Lady said, “Did you bring her poster?” my mind went to these places (please prepare for a glimpse into the blackness of my heart):

How could I have forgotten about this? I am the worst mom ever. Why can’t I keep up with anything? Why am I so disorganized?

And from there, I went here:

It’s because our weekend was so crazy. If Baby Girl hadn’t come down with an ear infection, and if we hadn’t had to take her to the doctor, and if her colon hadn’t gotten so backed up that she started shaking from the pain, and if we hadn’t had to figure out how to give her a suppository to fix the problem, I would have had time to think about making her poster. 

Which led to:

You know, if I didn’t have so much on my plate, I would have remembered. If I didn’t have to work all day AND do all the normal mom stuff, I would be better at this. It’s not fair. I have too much going on. Nevermind that all the other moms at daycare are in the same boat; I’M DIFFERENT. 

Hmm.

Defensive, are we?

Luckily, our Friend of the Week was rescheduled to the last week of March and Baby Girl is none the wiser. In fact, she couldn’t care less. She is 15 months old and doesn’t even know what Friend of the Week is. She’s not capable of deciding what activities they do.

It doesn’t matter. It’s not a big deal.

But y’all, I spiraled into a vortex of cray-cray faster than you can say SOMEBODY GET THE STRAIGHT JACKET.

What’s been your biggest Crazy Mom Fail moment? Anyone willing to commiserate?

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18 thoughts on “Mom Fail

  1. Dana Elmendorf says:

    Girl, I’ve had so many “Mom Fails” they are too many to count. And you are so right, none of this matters. Even when I fail with my 11yo (who CAN remember) when he’s 30something and talking about his childhood, he will NEVER recall that one time I totally forgot to make him lunch and he had to eat the free cheese sandwich and milk. Or that other time he had one of those special presentations at school (more special than the other twenty special presentations he had since the first of the year) and I didn’t show up. Nope, he won’t recall a thing because I was there the other 19 times. Our children will remember the great moments. Because we are awesome parents and give them way more awesome memories than not so awesome.

    But next week, when it is your child’s turn to be “special” you better rock that poster better than Lady Gaga or those other moms and that daycare teacher will give you the frowny face.

    1. Anne Riley says:

      Oh. My poster is going to be UNSTOPPABLE. Don’t worry, I’ll take a picture and post it here.

  2. Natalie Cone says:

    Anne, my Mom Fail today was potentially dangerous. And I also learned just how adventurous my almost-one-year-old is. There are currently two boards missing from our deck. They are the ones right out of the back door. I put my son in his walker and left the door open, like I always do. The walker has a low bumper that won’t roll over a pea in the floor, much less a threshold. I took the dogs into their pens about three yards from the bottom of the deck, delicately jumping the gap. Chore done, I climbed the deck stairs and glanced up with horror to find my son OUT OF HIS WALKER on his hands and knees at the edge of the threshold, just in front of the gap. His fingers were curled over the edge. I launched myself at him and scooped him up before he could move. Even a small lean would have had hm through the gap and under the deck (thankfully on soft straw, but you never know if it’s ridden with nails, splinters, etc.) He’s safe and sound, but I will NEVER again assume that he can’t weasel his way out of something like a walker. His nickname is now Houdini.

    1. Anne Riley says:

      OH. That is TERRIFYING. And it reminds me of a couple months ago when Rob and I accidentally doubled up on Tylenol with Baby Girl. If you look up the effects of an acetaminophen overdose on a toddler, it is horrifying and I was on the phone with poison control in seconds. She was fine… but yeah. I felt TERRIBLE.

  3. Liana Brooks says:

    I forgot my son’s first birthday. Eldest’s birthday is two days before his, and hers was on a week day, so we celebrated Friday night. No one even remembered Bambino had a birthday until one of the Mom’s picked her child up from the sleepover and asked what I’d gotten the baby for his birthday.

    *eye twitch*

    He had a round of watermelon with a candle for a birthday cake, three pictures on the camera, and a couple of kisses.

    How is that for a MomFail?

    1. Anne Riley says:

      OH MY GOSH. That is hilarious and awful at the same time! Hahahahaha! But you have like a million kids, so.

    2. Jessica says:

      Liana, you ALWAYS have the best stories. Poor Bambino. I’m sure he didn’t really mind though.

  4. Jodi says:

    Forgot the poster, too. And mine was old enough to know it and develop severe self-esteem issues from it. Not that he HAS, but shame is a dark spiral leading nowhere but down, y’know? He’s totally over it. And it was even more kickass than it might of been because of intense guilt spending in the scrapbooking aisle at Michaels. 🙂

  5. Charmaine Clancy says:

    When my youngest was in daycare I missed a teddy bear picnic day and went crazily shopping for a ‘stand in’ bear at the nearby shopping centre and ultimately ran late for work. It seemed crucial.
    Maybe our kids make us all a little crazy 🙂
    Wagging Tales

    1. Anne Riley says:

      I think they do, but it’s like, we all want to be such a good mom! And we feel so bad when we forget things like this. In our world, it’s tiny, but in their world it’s huge!

  6. Aimee L. Salter says:

    I’ve Mom Failed too many times to be healthy recounting, but reading through the comments here made me realize something: Most of the times when I fail the only one who notices (or cares) are other Moms or teacher-types. ALL of whom I KNOW have fail records of their own.

    My sister taught me an important lesson: If I fail my kid, the only person I need to apologize to is him. And if he doesn’t notice, or doesn’t care, then there is no Fail in the first place. And yet, my pride kicks in if I get the sideways eye from another woman.

    Praise God for loving me despite my totally messed up priorities….

    1. Anne Riley says:

      So, so true. Sort of like how writers are the only ones who will notice the mistakes I make in a manuscript. 🙂

      And you’re right–we don’t owe the world an apology. Just our children! (And certainly not the uber-moms!)

  7. Jessica says:

    Well, it sort of sucks to confess this particular fail…but I’m going to. Last summer, the Little Dude was taking a bath all nice and happy and content with the toys in the tub while I sat on the sink playing on my phone. It took all of twenty seconds of me not paying attention for him to stand, slip, and chip TWO front teeth on the side of the tub. It was a bloody mess, and while he was totally fine after crying for a few minutes, I cried for days. 🙁

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