You Had To Know My Last Post Before Christmas Would Be A Doozy

Okay, first things first. Married-Couple-Slash-Alter-Ego Giveaway Winner Dale & Patty Jacks? Has not contacted me. I even gave him/her/them a WHOLE EXTRA DAY. Nothing. Not a peep.

SAD TROMBONE, DALE & PATTY.

So you know what that means. Off to random.org I scurried, and our new winner is:

CRYSTAL! And Crystal, I reeeeeally hope you are the Crystal who lives here in Birmingham because that would mean both my winners are local and THAT would mean I don’t have to mail either book and THAT would mean NO POSTAGE COSTS FTW.

Um, but if you’re a different Crystal, no worries, yeah?

(Okay, just quickly before I talk about anything else, I have GOT to tell y’all about this guy sitting next to me in Starbucks. He has settled himself down at a table that is LITERALLY two feet away from me, even though there are OUTLETS A-PLENTY at tables all over this dadgum place. He’s listening to some kind of music that, as far as I can tell, is just people snapping, and every time he answers the phone [which is a lot] he goes, “Yeah, dawg.”)

(What is happening here? Where am I? I thought I left all the creepers at PANERA.)

(If you didn’t get that joke, you really need to start following me on Twitter. There has been some STUFF GOING DOWN at the Panera, people.)

(Oh my gosh now he’s ARGUING with someone on the phone. I have got to get OUT OF HERE.)

How this guy is making me feel.

So anyway, how is everyone doing so far with the Christmas and whatnot? I’m gonna try to say this without coming off too cheesy, but based on some of the blogs and tweets I’ve seen, I think it might be a good idea for some people to take a long, hot bath, and maybe a nap? And maybe a deep breath or two, yes? Try not to let the cleaning and the shopping and the cooking take away your joy?

All I’m saying is, there’s power in delegation. For example, yesterday while playing with Baby Girl, a very . . . um . . . pungent scent wafted past my nostrils. I looked at Rob and said, “Baby Girl smells like poop, can you check into that? I’m gonna go dosomethingback hhuewelsd…..”

The Trail-Off-Excuse, as demonstrated above, is a great way to delegate. It alllllmost sounds like a legit reason to not do whatever you want to get out of doing, but because you’re not actually saying WORDS, there’s no way anyone can challenge you. It does, however, require a speedy exit out of the room.

(OMG now the guy is going, “I can’t HEAR YOU, dawg. You MUFFLED. You MUFFLED, DAWG.”)

(Maybe you should GET THE HECK OUTTA THIS STARBUCKS, DAWG, or I’m about to MUFFLE YOU.)

Anyway, I think this is a good time to give you an update on Creepy Faces Book. I’ve written 6 chapters, and then tweaked all of them based on my crit partners’ feedback.

Can I just tell you how much I love my CPs? They are completely awesome and ALWAYS see something I’ve missed. More than that, they see the potential a scene has and suggest things I might never have thought of.

 So yeah, the book’s going great. This is the slowest I’ve ever written a first draft, and it feels as strong as some of my 3rd or 4th drafts have been in the past. And you know, it’s actually good that it’s taking a while, because Lord knows I need something to distract me while I query.

Hey, did y’all know there’s a lot of waiting when you query?

Cuz there is a LOT. OF. WAITING.

*longsuffering sigh*

(OMG, there is a couple in the corner who is totally on a blind date and they are trying to impress each other and laughing WAY too loudly.)

Okay . . . I think it’s time to wrap this up. What are you doing for the holidays? Traveling? Staying home? I would stick around and elaborate on the Blind Date Laugh-stravaganza, but really, I’ve got to get home, DAWGS.

Peace out and Merry Christmas!

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15 thoughts on “You Had To Know My Last Post Before Christmas Would Be A Doozy

  1. Krissi Dallas says:

    HOW MANY CUPS OF COFFEE HAVE YOU HAD TODAY, ANNE?
    This post is hilarious. Thanks for making me laugh and for the CUTIE-PATOOTIE picture of the monkey…OMG…I’m cooing. Merry Christmas!

    1. Anne Riley says:

      I cannot even tell you how caffeinated I have been and currently am. It should be illegal, this level of HYPE.

    1. Anne Riley says:

      Why thank you, my dear. But really, the Starbucks gave me some pretty excellent material to work with, so I can’t take all the credit.

  2. Jemi Fraser says:

    Sounds like you need to get a shield when you’re at the coffee shop! 🙂

    Hope you, hubby & baby girl have a wonderful Christmas filled with joy and laughter!

  3. Ansley says:

    a) Listen….instead of going to over-priced java joints with strange blind date-ish people, just come on over to our house. We have internet, coffee and plenty of quiet.
    b) Will you hug your beta readers like that too? Because I love hugs…
    c) My big brother has gone from never holding a baby before to being the master of poopy diapers (yes, I know everyone is jealous of that title) in 4 months.
    d) Margaret LOVES the swing thingy with the butterfly disco ball thing on it….it’s like it has a cry shield and she just can’t fuss while in it. My family LOVES you.
    e) MERRY CHRISTMAS!

    1. Anne Riley says:

      AWWW! Seriously, we need to hang out, and not just because I want my copy of The Historian back. I miss ya.

      1. Ansley says:

        Ah, I know! Rob needs to read it…let me know…Harley wants to hang too (she honked at me in carpool a few weeks ago…I felt old) so let’s get it together, girls!

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