The Great Pirate Hair Dilemma

To everyone out there who is not interested in the CRUCIAL ISSUE of what my hair looks like, I apologize. I’ll understand if you skip today’s blog post.

But you best come back tomorrow, hear? *teacher face*

So, here’s the thing: I love having long hair.

NO. Hang on. I DON’T love having long hair. I love the IDEA of having long hair. Like this:

No, this has NOTHING to do with my secret desire to be Hermione Granger. Why would you suggest that?

Currently, my hair is long. This is more out of a lack of time/energy to get a haircut rather than the actual desire to grow out my hair, but the end result is the same: I have lots of long hair. The problem, though–and if you follow me on Twitter, you heard about this WAY too much today–is that my hair is starting to look less Emma Watson and more . . . pirate.

Like so.

The crazy look on my face and the fluorescent lighting aren’t doing me any favors, either. 

Granted, I don’t have a whole TEAM of people with blow dryers and flat irons and curling irons and mousse and thirty-five different round brushes of varying widths and bristle consistencies. I’m sure Emma had a little help for that glamour shot up there.

BUT, the pirate hair picture begs the question: Is it time to cut?

I used to have a SUPER short haircut that I don’t think I want to go back to:

It was fun for a while, but I got sick of not being able to do ANYTHING with it. So I don’t think I’ll cut it that short again. I also had this haircut, which is short-ish, but not quite as extreme as the one above:

And then there was the time I got bangs cut, a la Zooey Deschanel:

And here’s a non-pirate picture of my long hair. In other words, this is what my long hair has the potential to be if I would quit letting it air dry or French braiding it just to avoid dealing with it:

So what do you think? Leave it long? Cut it off? Shave my head and be done with it? Does anyone have any secret weapon hair products they’d be willing to tell me about? Is ANYONE still reading this?

Want to share this post?

23 thoughts on “The Great Pirate Hair Dilemma

  1. Jen Stayrook says:

    OF COURSE I had to read this blog post. I’ve been considering doing something similar on my own blog. Post-baby I have done NOTHING with my hair. (Okay, let’s be honest: I never did anything with it before.)

    I, too, have such long, wild hair that on weekends I’ve given up even trying to get a brush through it. I KNOW.

    BUT THIS IS ABOUT YOU. At least that’s what I’m told when I comment on people’s blog posts.

    I vote long hair, but with bangs. That being said, the short hair was cute on you. (But I can’t advocate this because after chopping my hair once on a whim, I won’t EVER go back. I was miserable.)

    Also, don’t you know? Pirate hair is sexy.

    1. Anne Riley says:

      I like the idea of long hair with bangs. I assume you mean the Zooey bangs. I did enjoy those. Hmm. But it will require many, MANY layers and much thinning of my lioness mane.

      Thanks for the input!

  2. Jodi says:

    Okay…since I had the most awful mane after birthing the triplets (think months on bedrest followed by, “OMG! Triplets!!”), I feel I should weigh in on this one. There’s a difference in long hair that’s been maintained and long hair as a result of neglect. Having had both, I can attest that the long, un-maintained hair inspires drastic haircut desires. BUT, long hair that has been maintained affords you many options for hair style-age. Bottom line, go get a cut from someone who understands your particular hair issues (my stylist knows my long, straight hair with cowlicks like the back of her hand and can layer it accordingly) so you can come out looking much closer to Emma Watson before she chopped hers off. My two cents anyway.

    1. Anne Riley says:

      Yes. I’d like to keep my style options. So maybe just go get it cleaned up, add some good layers, maybe some more bangs. Hmm. Thanks!

  3. Jessica says:

    I’m still reading! Also, I had this same problem only two weeks ago. My hair was insanely long. I mean longer than it has ever been in my life long. It was more than halfway down my back and it definitely wasn’t because I wanted to grow it out. After I had a kid, I just forgot to get it cut over and over and there wasn’t any time when I did remember. Ugh! Anyway, I finally decided to cut it and I had five inches taken off and I got bangs because, why not? Oh geez!

    I hate it. I absolutely hate it…the bangs especially.

    So my advice, don’t do anything new! Stick to what you know! They are all really cute sooo maybe the short-ish one? I don’t know but good luck with whatever you choose!

  4. Alexandra Shostak says:

    I’m still reading because I have long hair! I’ve had hair below my shoulders since I was 12 and hair longer than the middle of my back for the last four! And I think your hair looks nice all wavy, but if you don’t like it then no amount of compliments will help (because I have naturally wavy hair but I don’t like the way it dries–in like weird patches of straight and wavy that looks like I fell asleep on it.)

    Actually, you’re gonna laugh, but I have long hair because it’s LOWER maintenance for me. The way my hair is and the way it dries when left to its own devices, I’d have to style it like whoa if I ever had a short haircut. Plus it’s relatively fine, so short hair on me looks very limp and lackluster. With my hair as it is now, if I don’t feel like doing it I throw it up in a bun and forget it exists. I also don’t have bangs because I don’t have the patience to have hairs touching my forehead all the time.

    Magic styling products? I don’t bother. I’ve bought stuff that’s supposed to do something, and it never does. The most I ever get out of styling products is that my hair smells different. If you look good in a bun, though, I ADORE these: http://www.fashionablyorganized.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/bun-twists.jpg

    I say keep it long (I love long hair on everyone!), get it trimmed, and get bangs again so you can put it up and still feel like you have a cute haircut. 🙂

  5. ansley says:

    I love the short hair but you have to do what you’re comfy with. If I could rock super short hair (and believe me, I CAN’T), I would. That being said, I’m not the hugest fan of bangs, but that’s just me. I think you look quite lovely no matter what. And, think about next summer when you’ll want beachy, wavy hair…..can’t do that with short.

    I didn’t help you at all. Sorry.

  6. Alicia says:

    The really short cut is super cute but I understand not wanting to go that way again. There is more maintenance with shorter styles. I can’t do bangs. Not because I don’t want to but because my hair is so flat, straight and oily it’s just a disaster. If you can rock the bangs with ease then go for it!

    As for magic products…not sure. Dry shampoo is my friend though because of my oily hair. I like Tresseme sprays. They’re affordable and work well and don’t leave you looking like you’re wearing a powdered wig or smelling like a baby. (There’s an image.)
    http://www.tresemme.com/Products/Fresh-Start

    1. Anne Riley says:

      Okay, I have heard about this “dry shampoo” thing. I may have to try it. If I didn’t have to wash my hair every day, this might be much easier, although the thought of having dirty hair makes me feel kinda gross.

  7. Lindsay says:

    Yeah…so it wasn’t until I read your blopost today that I realized I missed this one, so I’m catching up!

    #1. You know how I feel about pirate hair. (rowr!)

    #2.I just chopped my hair the day after we got back from the honeymoon.

    (Off Topic: It took the Aveda people two hours to do it! I think it made them nervous to chop 5 inches. They kept pausing and asking me if I was ok. Apparently, some people have cried during these events? It turned out great to me!)

    Anywho-I love the swoop bangs from your super-short hair! And you pulled off the super-short cut so well! I’m really kinda jealous right now. But it looks good with any length of hair and I think it’s slightly more sophisticated than the Zooey Deschanel (who I LOVE!). So yeah, that’s my vote: swoop bangs with longish hair layered all to pieces. It all depends on the look you’re going for! You look great in all of them (including the piratical waves of fury). 🙂

  8. Hands Free Mama says:

    Oh this sure was a FUN post. I could talk about hair and look at hair pictures all day long. My college friends used to come to my dorm room one at a time on Friday and Saturday night so I could do their hair before going out. Luckily, I was blessed with 2 daughters so I can do more hair!

    Well, here is my opinion … I like you in long hair, but I am a long hair kind of gal. You have beautiful hair. I bet you could wear it any way you like and still look lovely.

    I will be stopping back again. This was fun!

Comments are closed.