A Mixed Bag Of Emotions

Yesterday at 8:00 in the a.m. I started reading PULL. I finished around 4:45 p.m. I corrected some typos, clarified some plot points, and changed some repetitive words.

And y’all, I am so proud of it!

I had expected the final read-through to feel like a chore–after all, I’ve been editing for weeks!–but it so wasn’t. Reading the story all in one sitting was an absolute DELIGHT.

*happy sigh*

This was my face after finishing the read-through. But with fewer whiskers.

So now, PULL is sitting in Someone Else’s inbox.

(And now you’re thinking, “Hey Anne, when you say Someone Else, who exactly are you talking about?”)

(Sorry. Can’t say. All in good time, Grasshopper.)

So, Emotion #1 = HAPPY.

But Emotion #2 = AAAAAARGH.

I’m getting a sense of the true extent of my spiritual depravity, because it feels like EVERYONE around me has sold a book this year. Or two books. Or a trilogy. Or they already have books out and they’ve been signed on for a bazillion more.

And in my sinful little head I am thinking WELL THAT MUST BE NICE.

Imagine that the cat’s eye is twitching, and that’s kinda what I feel like sometimes.

And yes, it is nice. It’s wonderful that these talented writers are finding homes for their stories. It’s great that their hard work isn’t getting lost in a black hole. It’s awesome that their dreams are coming true.

Really. I’m not being sarcastic. It really, really is.

But there is that part of me that is just DYING to live my own dream. And I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t hard to watch others accomplish what I want to accomplish so badly.

But you know what? It’s just fuel for the fire. I’m excited to see where PULL goes, and I will work my hardest to make sure it goes FAR.

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12 thoughts on “A Mixed Bag Of Emotions

  1. Ansley says:

    Well, here’s where the great part comes in. Your depravity is there, but you are in process. Yes, you are working your tushie (sp?) off and there is a lot that’s unknown.

    BUT….

    It’s ok to be a Christian and have these emotions. I mean, Jesus was fully human so I’m sure he had the same kind of frustration and despair. You are not alone.

    To end this, I want to give you the verse I’ve been quoting to myself over and over and over and over as I think of all the friends I have who are living MY dream of being married to wonderful men and procreating like the zompocalypse is almost here…..Exodus 14:14 – The LORD will fight for you, you need only be still. We got Him on our side, looking out for us and guiding us. Pretty freaking awesome.

    Much love, fellow Grasshopper!

  2. Alicia says:

    The good news is that, twitchy or not, if you look like either one of those cats, you are precious!

    Stay strong! I know how you feel, except not about writing. Or publishing. Or watching other people sell books…yeah, anyway. But in my own fight, I sympathize. I’ll throw in my own favorite verse for inspiration: Phil 4:6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. (It helps to hum a reggae tune along with it.)

  3. Alexandra Shostak says:

    I know how you feel! Every time I see someone announcing that they have an agent, I have a slightly worse apoplexy than the time before. And it’s a confused apoplexy, because I’m so happy that the industry is still going, and that people are getting closer to where they want to be. But at the same time I want to say to the universe, “What haven’t I done for you? Do you not LIKE all those cupcakes I made for you? And the kittens? WHO DOESN’T LIKE KITTENS????” (Kittens and cupcakes meant to stand in for my manuscripts.)

    (No I am not insane, to anyone reading this comment who doesn’t know me. I just do a great impression of it.)

    • Anne Riley says:

      Totally! It’s like, hey, publishers are still buying books and paying advances! BUT WHY AREN’T THEY PAYING ME??

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