Breakdowns & Panic AttacksThe Clearing

I Need Cookies

Since Dana beat me in the Writers Duel, I’ll be posting that embarrassing picture soon. I promise. And don’t worry, it’ll be worth the wait.

But until then, I’ll be crying quietly in a corner and devouring every piece of chocolate in my path.


Well, those of you with good memories may remember that I posted a few weeks ago about some “people” who were kind of “important” who liked “some stuff.” And if you are a Master of Deciphery, you figured out I was talking about an editor and my book.

(Stop telling me “deciphery” isn’t a word, spell check! It IS a word because I just said it! DECIPHERY DECIPHERY DECIPHERY!)

Well anyway, some people at that publishing house loved my book and others didn’t. And the ones that didn’t were the ones that make the decisions.

So, even after hearing their comments about how much they loved it, the People In Charge decided to pass.

Am I disappointed? Yes.

Did I cry in an office parking lot about it while picking up my husband for lunch? Yes.

Was it more of an Ugly Sob-Cry? Yes.

One bowl of chicken noodle soup, the promise of oatmeal cookies, and three or four good cries later, I’m no longer determined to set my computer on fire. Which is definitely a step in the right direction. But I am, to use a phrase I picked up back in my London days, “absolutely gutted.”

It’s not the end of the world, and I know that. But this is hard, people. Here’s what I’ve learned so far about getting published:

1. Writing a book does not mean you will get an agent.

2. Getting an agent does not mean editors will like your book.

3. Finding an editor who likes your book does not mean you will get published.

And, if I ever make it to this point, I’m sure my next lesson will be:

4. Getting published does not mean anyone will buy your book.

Okay, so I’m feeling a little defeated right now. I bet the same people who are Masters of Deciphery picked up on that. But I won’t give up, not yet. Probably not ever. Or at least not for a long time. I will keep working on my new novel and hoping that, if my first book doesn’t sell, maybe my second one will.

And now, about those cookies….

17 thoughts on “I Need Cookies

  1. If you, uh, read my blog from last week, you’d know that I gave you permission to make up words if you want to. So “deciphery” is totally a word. Now. 🙂

    Sorry to hear about the MS pass at the pub. house, though, good lady. If you take anything away from that experience, it should be that YOU CAN WRITE A BOOK THAT PEOPLE LOVE. That’s the main point. Sure, the senior editors decided to pass, but you garnered the attention of some publishing pros, and that’s not the easiest thing in the world to do.

    So congrats on that, and go have a cookie. Or two. (You’re pregnant–I wouldn’t come between you and sweet snacks even if I were paid to.) And keep writing, ’cause clearly you have the chops for it.



  2. I’m so sorry. I agree with Simon. You wrote a book people love And not only *people* EDITOR people!

    I tell myself this. The whole point of writing is to entertain people and make them think about my book for at least an hour after they finish reading. I had an agent LOVE MY BOOK. She passed, said it was unsellable, but loved it anyway. That has to mean something, right? So see? You’re a step ahead of me on the rungs of the publishing ladder. You had EDITORS love it.

    You rock! Hang in there.

  3. I am SO sorry! I think about this EVERY day, and my heart breaks knowing that this will happen to me. Right now, I have been making the best progress I have ever made on a WIP, and – as crazy as this may sound – I am at a point where I am actually excited for the day I start getting my rejections. It will mean that I am trying, and I have never really tried to get anything I’ve really wanted. But, I know that once those nasty little things start rolling in, the excitement will fade (fast), and I will be in the exact same boat you’re in now. I plan on having a well-stocked kitchen full of cookies, too. 🙂

  4. Gaah. Great reminder about the reality of publishing. It’s tough to stay in fantasy land when writing, and reality when querying.

  5. *hugs* That’s really too bad. *provides an offering* There are oatmeal toffee cookies, banana bread (one loaf is for stepdad but you can have the other) or I can offer chocolate brownies with chocolate&caramel candie bars baked in the middle… They are delicious. Enjoy the cookies, take a moment to sulk and get back to writing! You’re so close and will get there some day.

  6. First time to your blog and I’m already mouthing off but hey!
    What they said! This isn’t the time to cry in your oatmeal cookies even if you could do such a thing – oatmeal cookies are for dipping into tea not crying on. Different soggy – not good. Editors liked your book – get back on the horse. Perhaps the nice editors that liked your book could pass on what the reasons were for not taking it – too many of the same ilk? Writing not strong enough? etc… It will either be something pertaining to your writing or something pertaining to the business. One you can do something about unless it is dumming down or selling out and the other you can’t. But you can know that if anyone if even breaths a word of liking when your book is being shopped that is a big wahoo! Not to be too rude but it is sort of like when you are …ahem…having fun with a significant other but you haven’t gone over the water fall yet but you know if you just keep on doing what you’re doing and don’t give up you will go over the water fall. Absolutely. Enough now – all your talk of cookies has made me starving.

  7. Don’t give up Anne! You’re WAY ahead of me and probably quite a lot of people so don’t ever forget that. And at the end of the day, I’d rather that the readers love it and sod everyone else. I’m still happy to beta read for you if you want, just holler. *hands you a plate full of cookies*. Have a good cry then dust yourself off, get back up and get writing!! xx

  8. Aww! I’m sorry! I’m sure another editor will love it–and if, gods forbid, they don’t, your next book will be the thing! And *I* will buy your books!

    Cookies sound like the perfect medicine. I tend to force myself to have a dance party, or I play guitar or do something else I’m good at (I’m not very good at guitar) to prove to myself that I have talent at SOMETHING whenever I get a rejection (agent, of course. I have no idea what it feels like to be rejected by an editor. I imagine it sucks really badly.)

    Cyber hugs!

  9. Lilah: I know what you mean! It’s so exciting to start the process. And rejections are just a part of it – I’m only upset because this was a particularly big letdown. Don’t worry about the future – you’ll get past it, just like I will (eventually)!

    Kevin: Yes… yes, it is hard. The reality of all this is harsh, to say the least, but I’m determined to push through!

    Dawn: You are so sweet! One of my friends is bringing me brownies with chocolate ganache tomorrow. I think that’ll do for now!

  10. Dean: I don’t think we have those here, but there is a store called World Market that has a lot of imported stuff. I might could find them there – in fact, I might go look there tomorrow!

    Jan: Wow – interesting metaphor 🙂 Thanks for the encouragement!

    Lynsey: Thanks hon! I may take you up on that offer at some point.

  11. Alexandra: Yeah, it’s pretty hard. But, you know, it’s all part of the game. And a dance party sounds like a great idea 🙂

  12. I just saw this 🙁

    I’m so sorry, Anne! This isn’t the end of the road, just a bump along the way.

    You are a WONDERFUL writer and you’ve got a story on your hands that needs to be told! It’s just waiting for the right publisher and the right time.

  13. Sometimes you just have to let yourself have a good cry. That’s okay, but like Jan said, take heart that the editor loved it! That means there is a house out there that will invest in it. It’s going to happen!

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