I wonder how many blog posts I’ve written with that title? Hmm. Maybe I’m channeling my inner Liz Lemon a little too much. That word just seems to communicate so much when you don’t know what to say.
I heard back from my agent today about our submission status. Of the ten editors who have The Clearing, five of them have rejected it. Now, that in and of itself is not that big of a deal. In fact, I was expecting more rejections. It comes with the job.
What upsets me is that they seem to like it less this time around than they did last time I submitted. After our first round of submissions, all of the comments I got back from editors were super encouraging. I mean, they all rejected me, but they did it while brushing my hair and telling me how pretty I was. (Figuratively speaking, I mean.)
This time, they’re harping on the negatives while (figuratively) pointing out that my ears are lopsided and telling me to get to the gym more. This is especially distressing because I spent 3 months working on the weak spots they pointed out last time. I thought my book was in really good shape. I thought it was about a thousand times better than before. I fully expected some compliments on my work.
There was one editor I really, really wanted to work with – and her rejection was one of the most hurtful to me. She wasn’t mean to me personally at all – none of them were – but the issues she had with the story really hurt my feelings. I don’t think she even considered accepting me. I’m not sure she liked the story at all.
I’m so confused. I feel like I just went through rush and everybody was telling me how much they liked my floral sundress and my pearl earrings, and I was totally going to get the AOPi bid, and then bid day came and all the sisters told me they couldn’t really connect with my dress and my earrings’ relationship with each other didn’t make sense.
That did not actually happen, by the way. But it’s still a good metaphor.
I don’t really know what to do now, but if five of those editors rejected me for similar reasons, I need to prepare myself to hear the same thing from the rest of them.
And then I need to build a bridge and get over it. Because I won’t stop writing, and I won’t stop trying to get published. I might cry a good bit between now and my publication date – whenever that might be – but I won’t give up. <cue “Fighter” by Christina Aguilera>