Anne Riley

So, at some point last year I got it into my head that I “deserve” to be a writer. And do you know why I “deserve” to be a writer?

Because I WANT to be a writer.

That’s right, friends: I have an overdeveloped sense of entitlement.

I’m going to be very frank right here. Sometime in the past year, as I tapped away at my keyboard and dreamed of days when I could wake up at 7:30 and watch a couple hours of the Today show while sipping leisurely on a cup of coffee, I missed the point.

The point of what? you ask.

Of LIFE.

I had decided that if I worked hard enough at my book, and if I did everything I was supposed to do, then I would definitely get to be a full time writer. Because if our Zip code has a battle cry, it’s “Live the American Dream or Die!” And I’ve noticed that sometimes, if someone doesn’t get what they want or what they’ve worked for, others around them begin to form lists of the things that person should have done differently.

I’m not saying this has happened to me – except that I do seem to have done it to myself. I keep thinking, “Why isn’t my book published yet? What should I have done differently? How could I have prevented this from happening?” When all along I know I worked MORE than hard enough on that manuscript.

And you know what I realized last week?

It’s not up to me. Anne Riley doesn’t run her own life. I claim to trust God for everything and I constantly say that I will go wherever he tells me to go, but really? I’m pretty sure that I’m in charge around here, and what I say goes.

What I’ve finally gotten my head around is this: I could write the greatest novel ever. It could just be dripping with potential for the publisher and everyone could absolutely adore it – but if God doesn’t want me to be a writer at this point in time, then It’s. Not. Going. To. Happen.

And whatever he’s got for me right now – that’s what I need to be focusing on.

In the words of Alannis Morrisette, that’s one jagged little pill to swallow.

So I guess you could say I’m struggling with contentedness right now. I have nothing to complain about. Not one thing. And yet I keep thinking, “Man, if only I could get published, life would be perfect.”

I’ll give you just a moment to digest all the problems with that statement.

Fortunately, I think God has given me a woman that is willing to “disciple” me, by which I mean I will hang out with her a lot and she will help me to grasp God’s goodness and faithfulness, and I really think God will use this to help me get back on track. Because I’ve been off track for a long time, and I’m really tired of it. It’s exhausting, trying to run your own life. You know what I mean?

Say a prayer for me, Readers. And have a great week!

I’m reading Dan Brown’s new book, The Lost Symbol. Two things before I continue.

1) Yes, many of the ideas in his books are blasphemous, and I apologize if the fact that I read them is offensive to anyone.

2) But dadgumit, the man can write a page-turner.

Until this one, apparently…

I’ll wait till I finish it to give you a complete review, but so far I’m just not hooked, and I can’t figure out why. All the elements I love are there: crazy-but-true science, genius manipulation and espionage, ancient legend, codes, maps, secret passageways… you get the idea. I completely ate up all his other books; why is this one giving me trouble? ‘Tis a mystery, my friends.

Now, pretend there’s some kind of transition sentence here.

Ever since I started writing this new book, I’ve dreamed about it almost every night. I started it in the beginning of August, so that’s kind of a long time to dream about the same thing. Clearly it’s taking over my subconscious, which has never happened before, but it’s good because I’ve become slightly obsessed with this book and all I want to do is work on it.

By the way, this is not conducive (condusive?) to getting a lot of grading done at school.

Also: THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to those of you who have agreed to read Part I of the book! I’ve got four readers so far, and I would love one or two more. Any takers? There might be a cup of Starbucks in it for you! (Or, you know, whatever your vice of choice is.)

Hello my dears! I aplologize that it’s been a few days since I posted. I’ve been working really hard on this new project, a.k.a The Book that Shall Not Be Named, and it’s really almost turned into an obsession. I’m really enjoying the process of writing this book, because as I told my husband, I feel like the story is just falling out of my fingertips and onto the pages. I feel like I’m hardly having to work to make this story come together.

It’s easy… almost too easy.

I still have a long way to go, though. I’ve finished writing Part I, but I need to edit it a few more times; there are still a couple of rough parts that need to be cleaned up, and I need to go back and add some more details and description (that is definitely my weakness – I always forget that nobody else can see inside my head).

My agent is reading what I’ve got so far. I am really anxious to hear her thoughts about whether or not this one is worth pursuing, and what she thinks about the writing style and the whole “feel” of the story. But other than that, I don’t have any way of knowing if this story is interesting to anyone but me. Yes, my agent will have some great input and I value her opinion very highly – but I also feel like I need some people to read it that aren’t professionals in the book business. I need people to read it that sort of represent my potential audience.

What I’m trying to say here, dear Readers, is that I need YOU!

What I would like to happen is this: I’m going to go back through Part I of my book with a fine-tooth comb, so to speak, and after that I would like to send it to five or six of you via e-mail and let you read it for yourselves. I will also probably send you a small list of questions for you to answer after you read, so that I can address some specific concerns about the story and make it as good as it can be. I’m looking specifically for GIRLS… sorry guys, maybe later.

So, would you be interested? If you think you might have the time and energy to do this for me, you can let me know either by commenting on this post, sending me a Facebook message, or calling me, if you have my number. I would prefer to keep this restricted to people I know personally, just because I would rather hear constructive criticism from a friend before I hear it from anyone else!

Contact me if you would be willing to read for me – I won’t be able to do this without you!